KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital
100 Bukit Timah Road
Singapore 229899

It is a noisy world out there for those of us wearing hearing aids.  When we need to hear others, we have to take control of our hearing situation because others will not know how to accommodate us.  This page is aimed at those deaf/hoh who are oral. We use our residual hearing to hear, and we all lip-read to a greater or lesser extent. 

This collection of tips work for many people. To what extent they work for you, will depend a lot on your degree of hearing loss and compensating ability to lip-read.

It is just unavoidable that we need to highlight our disability if we want people to accommodate us.  People are generally helpful, though they need constant reminding.  It is our own embarrassment that we need to overcome. 

If your hearing has gotten worse or you have changed jobs, you may need to tell your colleagues how to communicate with you.  You could send them an email like this: http://deafboleh.com/blog/2006/08/27/a-letter-to-colleagues/

Pick your best spot

Arrive early at meetings and sit where you can hear and see best. Sit in the front row at briefings and lectures. If you favour one ear, try to keep the meeting chairman or the main speaker on that side.  

We eat with company, typically at hawker centres which are notoriously noisy. Try to choose a seat to favour your better ear. Fast food outlets and medium-priced restaurants are no quieter. If there is a choice, you might prefer sitting outdoors where there is no ceiling and walls to reflect sound and you hear much better. At social gatherings, try to go a quieter spot and call people there to talk to you. It is not possible to participate in the main crowd gathered around the coffee table.

Specify what help you need

People generally want to help but they have to be told specifically how. When meeting people, you could say “I am deaf/hoh. Would you mind speaking a little clearer and slower. I need to face you to hear you. I may need you to repeat yourself sometimes.”  Find your own combination that you are comfortable with.  When talking with a group, here are some further pointers to tell them:

• Tell them you can miss things if you don’t know who is talking. Ask them to get your attention before they start to talk.
• Tell them that you can’t hear if more than one person is talking at the same time. Ask that only one person talk at a time.
• Tell them that quick topic changes often cause you to lose the thread.  Ask that they help you understand the topic.
• Tell them that you read lips, so it’s important for you to be able to see their face.
• It is better to interrupt and remind people politely at the beginning of a conversation, rather than wait to get frustrated after missing a lot.  (However, if it is a big meeting, this is going to be difficult so just expect to miss a lot.) 

Specify repeats

If you miss hearing something in a conversation, avoid just saying “What?” or “Huh?”  Rather, tell the other person what you did hear and then ask him to repeat the part that you missed.  For example, say: “You are going on a trip to where?” or “What is the reason again that you cannot come for the meeting?”
 
Fall back on writing

Email and sms are available for us to fall back on and sometimes they can be a big help.  After a work meeting, you could send the other party an email to confirm what was agreed on. Some hard of hearing people who are unable to use the phone fall back on internet chat.  

Do not bluff

This tip is important because many hard of hearing people try to hide their hearing loss. This is a BIG mistake. It doesn’t fool anyone, and it can make us look stupid. It is much better to be recognized as hard of hearing than to appear stupid. Most people are happy to help someone with a hearing loss, but less inclined to help someone they perceive as stupid.

Reduce background noise

It is background noise that defines our hearing problem.  At a social occasion, ask for the TV or stereo to be turned off.  Similarly, in a car.
 

Use good hearing aids

Make sure you have (and know how to use) the best hearing aids you can get. If you aren’t making reasonable efforts to overcome your hearing loss, why should anyone else try to help? 

Never give up

Making the most of our hearing is difficult and takes a lot out of us.  It’s up to us to understand what we need and make sure others know what they can do to help.  When someone says, “Never mind” or “It wasn’t important”, don’t get angry, explain to them that what they said is important to you.

The writer of this page welcomes any comments or advice.
Gerard Francis
On deafboleh.com forum
Hard of hearing, profound on the right and 60dB on the left with a ski-slope from 2kHz, digital BTE.